Search Results for: blog trouble more trouble and a marriage

What Makes a Marriage Work?

With so many marriages ending in divorce, it can leave you to wonder, “What makes a marriage work?” Now I am by no means an expert but I will very soon be celebrating 21 years of marriage, so hopefully I can provide at least some encouragement. Let me start off by saying this. I will never tell someone, “I have been happily married for 20 years.” That would be a lie. While there definitely has been more happiness than not, mixed in have been times where I wondered if we would make it. To pretend otherwise doesn’t really do any … Continue reading →

Friendship: the Foundation of Marriage

Last week my husband and I made cookies for breakfast. It is supposed to be healthier to eat a batch of cookies, or really any dessert, early in the morning rather than later at night. This way we have more time to burn off those extra calories. That’s not why we made them, though. We made them because the night before I’d experimented with making Pasta Puttanesca (not bad, though I think in the future I’d just swap the anchovies for tuna), and its smell still hung around the kitchen. I figured the best way to get rid of it … Continue reading →

Family and Marriage Myths

The problem in trying to identify the type of marriage partner a person will choose and relate it to the family they grew up in, is there are too many variables. So much depends on the personalities involved and the relationships within the family. That’s why, in my opinion, making sweeping generalizations is not helpful and can in fact be harmful when choosing a marriage partner. My daughter and I are like in looks mannerisms and expression in characteristic, like the way we are both worriers. But there are plenty of other cases where we are not alike at all. … Continue reading →

Lack of Understanding

I hate it when Mick and I argue. It doesn’t happen that often but when it does it leaves a sour taste. More often than not, our arguments occur near and about the computer. I am no-one’s idea of a computer expert and so when I run into trouble I call on Mick. Unfortunately trying to explain what is happening and how it got that way, which I usually don’t know, presents a problem. I’m still convinced computer gremlins exist because the computer often seems to do things I have never told it to do, but that’s another story. So … Continue reading →

Link Between Family’s Wealth and Teen Drinking

A recent study came out that discussed how teens from wealthier families had a higher tendency to drink alcohol than their peers who come from low income families. Although many like to think that having money would make you and your children healthier, this may not always be the case. At first, I found this study surprising, but upon reflection, I’m guessing it was the same way during my high school days. The big drinkers in my school were defiantly the “popular” kids, most of which were from the wealthier families in my hometown. They were the binge drinkers, getting … Continue reading →

The Trouble with Statistics

Sometimes statistics can be wrong, or at least misleading. That is, if we compare them to people we know. For example I read recently the ten important research findings from a national marriage project conducted by David Popenoe, Ph.D. The very first one says ‘Marrying as a teenager is the highest known risk factor for divorce.’ Maybe these days when children are at school longer and are not out in the work force as some of us, our parents or grandparents were early on, this would be the case. But if you look at a lot of people who have … Continue reading →

Marriage in the Floodwaters

Every marriage encounters obstacles and hard times. The difference is some people are better at handling them than others. So you are stuck in the floodwaters, now what can you do? To continue the floodwaters analogy, you could just try treading water and wait till the waters subside. The trouble is you might just go under in the process. So what else can you do? The best solution is to try and find a way out of or around the problem. This is where being able to talk about to with your spouse and get to the root cause of … Continue reading →

Marriage is not a Prison

A recent article gave ‘the best ten destination spots before you sign your life away.’ If that’s the way people think about marriage, no wonder marriages are in trouble. This attitude is treating marriage like it is a prison and you need to get all you can out of life before you take the plunge. All I can say is that is not my experience. Marriage to me is freedom. It is about the freedom to love one person in an exclusive relationship. Marriage is freedom to be yourself and to know that you are loved for yourself. You can … Continue reading →

Why Are More Women Walking Out?

More and more women are walking out of marriages than ever before. According to statistics 68 percent of divorces are instigated by women. This has not always been the case. What has caused the change? These days women are better educated and many women have either not given up work for any length of time or have gone back into the work force once the children have grown a little, and are at school. As a result, more women appear more confident and are more used to looking after themselves financially. In many marriages it is a case of his … Continue reading →

Resolving Conflict in Marriage

If you and your spouse are having problems, what can you do? A lot will depend on how long the conflict has been going on, what it is about and how serious the issue is. But you need to sit down together and talk and work through the situation. Here are some suggestions you might like to consider adopting. If you are a believer then talk to God before you talk to your spouse. Ask God to change the heart of your spouse, so that he or she is receptive and prepared to listen to what you have to say. … Continue reading →